After last week’s blog, I needed to take a little bit of a break. Girlfriends had already planned a weekend away on the West Coast and it was great that I could still join. The best thing I could have done. Just chill, relax, lie by the pool and talk nonsense with the girls. We stayed at a beautiful farm house, check If you need to get away from Cape Town for a bit and you don’t want to drive too far, this is a perfect spot. During the week we hiked Lion’s Head almost each morning. Cape Town has all these special spots and for me it’s the best way to put everything back into perspective and clear my head. Writing helps me a lot as well so there’s no need to constantly talk about what I’m going through. In fact it feels as if I’m facilitating my own counseling through blogging, haha!! When people ask me: ‘How is it going? Any news on your daughter yet?’ And I don’t feel like talking about it, I can just point them to the blog and they’re fully updated on all the happenings. Perfect!

The whole week I mainly focused on work and didn’t think too much about the adoption. I updated my social worker at Child Welfare and told her what happened in Johannesburg. I’m no longer in a rush and will let things unfold in their own time. I had this idea in my head that I had to have a daughter before my 40th birthday in April. I prefer not to think about it for a bit and the way I felt for most of the week is that if it doesn’t happen for the next 2 years, then that’s apparently the way it’s supposed to be.

But then I reminded myself again what my grandmother told me once when I was about 7 years old. Every Saturday afternoon I would go to my grandmother and I would help her bake apple pies for the whole family. These were actually very thin apple sauce pies, grandma’s special recipe. Really delicious! During one of those afternoons my grandmother would tell me that she thought I would go to Africa later in my life and that I would go and help African kids. That was her vision for my life. Isn’t that quite extraordinary? Somehow I forgot this story until I’d already moved to South Africa. So being in Africa, living in Cape Town and adopting an African child is definitely the life that I’m supposed to live, at least that’s how I feel. I might just need a bit of time to get myself back into the right frame of mind, feel confident again and stop listening to the negative voices in my head that try to talk me into something different.