Giving you child up for adoption is an act of love
Mothers who decide to give up their child for adoption, want what’s best for their child. They’re aware that they can’t take care of their child emotionally, financially and/or spiritually and decide that the child will be better off in another family. They don’t ‘throw away’ their child as many people assume.

Adopting a child is an act of love
I’ve adopted because I wanted to have a family. I found myself being single and almost turning 40 and thought: if I would like to have a family I have to do something NOW. I love having my little modern family and Rosie and I are really meant to be together. That’s how I see it.

You don’t take someone else’s child
Adoption is a very thorough process in South Africa. A legal adoption involves at least 2 social workers, a judge, the Department of Social Services. Adoption means: as if born from you. As adoptive parents a judge has approved of your profile and documentation to be parents (unlike biological parents). The child placed in your care belongs with you. When I started the process I assumed, that I would be adopting an orphaned child. This was not the case and is not the case in many instances. The biological mother was involved in choosing my profile which will be very nice to be able to tell Rosie.

You don’t need to be a perfect family
In South Africa we have a wonderful Constitution where everybody is equal. So if you’re single, living together with someone, are in a same-sex relationship or happily married to the love of your life, everyone (after screening of course) is allowed to adopt and is treated in the same way. I’m a single mom and around Cape Town there are many single parents. I also have a gay friend who has adopted as a single parent.
Adoptions in the past focused on finding babies for infertile couples. Today the focus is on finding families for waiting children.

The focus has moved from “investigating suitability” to “education and preparation of adoptive parents”. I went through the adoption process with Child Welfare in Cape Town. It really felt never as if they were ‘testing’ me or anything. They wanted to get to know me yes so that they could place a baby with me that would be happy with me.
The ‘matching’ of babies with parents is really a magical process in the hands of the social workers and God (or the Universe). Every adoptive parent/child you’ll meet you will just see that the match is perfect. I don’t know how they do it but it truly is magical, I have no other words. You can trust the process if you’re just patient and let everyone do their job.

The adoption screening and preparation process that adoptive applicants go through is very important
Often people ask me: Is it not a long process? And is it not very costly? I always answer that it is a good process and that it is super important that it is a good process because of the well being of the child who already went through 1 traumatic experience at least. The cost differs from ZAR 500 – ZAR 30.000 depending on which agency or social worker you decide to go with.