We Match Hearts

Q & A
How did you go about the adoption process?
I phoned Child Welfare and asked when the next introduction session was planned. I then just followed the steps of completing the paper work, getting police clearance, asking references, attending workshops, doing interviews and scheduling the home visit.

Did you have to wait long?
The process of completing all the steps took about 4 months. I then waited 10 months for Rosie.

How did your family and friends react to your decision?
My family was very worried and not really supportive during the process. Once Rosie was in my life, that all changed. They love her to bits and are very protective over her. My friends have always been a great support in everything. My parents were nervous for me adopting as a single parent. I’m from The Netherlands originally so my parents didn’t have a ‘color’ issue.

Was it expensive?
Cost depends on the social worker you decide to work with or the route taken, a private, NGO or commercial agency. I went through the process with Child Welfare Cape Town (NGO) but Rosie was placed with me by Procare (commercial agency). It was a weird decision to take because Procare’s fees were higher than Child Welfare so I had to decide if I was going to raise the extra funds. The entire process cost about ZAR 20.000, in my case. If Rosie had come to me through Child Welfare, it would have cost about ZAR 5.000. I choose Child Welfare because it felt wrong to pay a lot but then when Rosie was matched with me, I decided, the social workers had all done their work. They clearly felt Rosie belonged with me, so I had to make the effort of paying the extra money.

What age was your child when she was placed with you?
Rosie was 3.5 months.

How did you choose your baby?
You don’t choose, the baby chooses you . I believe social workers do an amazing job, matching parents and children. It is pure magic!

Are you in contact with the biological mother?
No, when Rosie is 18 we can contact the agency to see if the biological mother would like contact.

Do you have to be married and hetero-sexual to adopt?
No, South Africa has a wonderful Constitution where everyone has to be treated equally. I’m a single mom. I have a single gay friend who also has adopted.

Is there an age limit?
In principal they say, there shouldn’t be more than 40 years between you and your child but I know moms who have adopted a baby when they were well in their 40s.

Why did you adopt cross-culturally?
I asked for a healthy baby girl, no color request put forward. I assumed that she most probably would be brown (= ‘black’) because of the demographics in South Africa. I would have been surprised if she would have been pink (= ‘white’). The waiting for a white baby can be up to 8 years. Simply look at the demographics in South Africa and then you’ll understand why this is.

We Match Hearts

We Match Hearts


Ster Kinekor Entertainment release ‘Black or White’, the story of a grandfather (Kevin Costner) who is suddenly left to care for his orphaned granddaughter.
Conflict incurs when her paternal grandmother (Octavia Spencer) seeks custody of the child, The little girl is torn between two families, who love her deeply. With the best intentions at heart, both families fight for what they feel is right and are soon forced to confront their true feelings about race, forgiveness, and understanding. Anchored by an all-star cast and based on real events, the movie is a look at two seemingly different worlds, in which nothing is as simple as black or white.