What supposed to be some chilled playtime in St Johns Plaza in Cape Town became a terrible experience of I still-don’t-know-what exactly.

Rosie was playing in the little house while I got my coffee fix at Woollies. Suddenly an old-ish guy picked up Rosie and put her on one of the wooden horses. I said: ‘Excuse me, I rather don’t want you to do that’. I think it is quite unacceptable when a man I don’t know and have never ever seen in my life suddenly picks up my daughter. He kept holding on to her so I then kind tried to get in between him and Rosie. He got very upset, I could just see it.
He now started asking questions: ‘Does she speak Xhosa’? The next one was less nice: ‘What do you know about bringing up an African child’? You’re a stupid woman!! And then he walked off. He just offended us and then he WALKED OFF!! I was in shock!
I got so upset and screamed: ‘Why don’t you adopt one yourself, if you’re so clever?’ But I was too late with my screaming he was already gone.

What’s the right thing to do? You want to protect your daughter but at the same time, you can’t just let people get away with murder and let them say anything they want. He was totally off limits and I think he works at the center as some sort of security because he was walking around with a radio.
My friend gave me good advice afterwards. I should have said: ‘We’re just going to ignore you like the rest of the world because you clearly have issues that have nothing to do with us’.

And so this is just one of the encounters of probably many to come. I would like to be more prepared. People will always have opinions about adoption, most probably based on assumptions so sometimes there will be an opportunity to educate people. However, often I will just have to let it go because people are just stuck in their own issues.


Ster Kinekor Entertainment release ‘Black or White’, the story of a grandfather (Kevin Costner) who is suddenly left to care for his orphaned granddaughter.
Conflict incurs when her paternal grandmother (Octavia Spencer) seeks custody of the child, The little girl is torn between two families, who love her deeply. With the best intentions at heart, both families fight for what they feel is right and are soon forced to confront their true feelings about race, forgiveness, and understanding. Anchored by an all-star cast and based on real events, the movie is a look at two seemingly different worlds, in which nothing is as simple as black or white.